Infertility & Surrender to God: Finding Peace in Motherhood

Motherhood is one of the deepest longings many women carry, and infertility can shake that longing to its core. When the path to becoming a mother looks different than expected, it often leads to seasons of grief, waiting, and surrender to God that feel both tender and costly. Infertility is not just a physical diagnosis. It touches the heart, faith, identity, and hope in ways few other experiences do.

In this week’s podcast episode, we had the privilege of sitting down with Holley Gerth to talk honestly about infertility, surrender to God, and the unexpected ways He builds families. Through her story, we explore how God meets us in unmet desires, how peace is possible even in unanswered prayers, and how motherhood can take forms far more beautiful than we imagined.

Infertility: The Rollercoaster of Grief and Hope

Holley shared her decade-long journey through infertility, a season marked by tears, prayer, and the exhausting cycle of hope and disappointment. She reminded us that infertility is never just a physical diagnosis. It reaches into every part of a woman’s life, touching her emotional well-being, spiritual faith, and relational identity.

Grief shows up anytime there is a gap between the life we imagined and the life we are living. Infertility creates that gap in profound ways. Yet grief is not the end of the story. God meets us in that space with His presence, comfort, and peace. He does not rush us through the pain, nor does He abandon us in it.

Spiritual Motherhood: A Word for Every Woman

During one especially painful Mother’s Day, God led Holley to Genesis 3, where Eve is called the “mother of all living.” In that moment, God revealed something powerful to her. All women carry the ability to bring life into the world, even when that life does not come through biological motherhood.

For some women, motherhood looks like raising children. For others, it looks like mentoring, creating, discipling, nurturing, or leading. This truth reframes infertility. It declares that you are not barren, not forgotten, and not disqualified. You are a mother in the way God uniquely designed you to be.

Covenant Family: God’s Creative Redemption

Years later, Holley and her husband Mark encountered a young woman aging out of foster care. God made it unmistakably clear that she was meant to be their daughter. Through that unexpected beginning, they stepped into parenthood and later into grandparenthood.

Holley describes this as covenant family. It is God’s redemptive way of knitting people together through love, commitment, and spiritual purpose. Covenant family may not resemble the traditional picture we expect, but it reflects God's own covenant love for us. It is holy, intentional, and deeply meaningful.

Practicing Peace in Anxious Seasons

Holley also shared practical rhythms that help her stay grounded in peace during overwhelming seasons. She spoke about the importance of prayer walks, honest conversations with trusted friends, intentional rest, and simple release prayers that return the heart to Jesus.

Peace is not found through one dramatic breakthrough. It is cultivated through small, faithful steps toward God’s presence, taken again and again. When we practice these rhythms, anxiety loosens its grip and trust begins to grow.

Philippians 4:6-7

Words for the Woman Who’s Still Waiting

If you are walking through infertility, longing, or unanswered prayers, Holley’s encouragement is gentle and honest.

Give yourself permission to grieve without shame. Find at least one safe person who can walk with you in truth and compassion. Open your hands to God, even when surrender feels painful and costly.

Most importantly, remember this truth: God will not let your deepest desires go unfulfilled. He may fulfill them differently than you expect, but He has not forgotten you.

This conversation is tender, raw, and full of hope. If infertility, grief, or unmet longing has ever touched your heart, Holley’s story offers reassurance that God is present, faithful, and still writing a beautiful story with your life.

Reflection Questions

1. In what ways has your vision of motherhood or family been challenged or changed?
2. What does "surrender to God" mean to you in the context of unmet desires?
3. How can you practice peace and trust in God during seasons of waiting or anxiety?
4. Who is a "safe person" you can confide in about your journey of longing or grief, and how can you reach out to them?
5. How might God be calling you to spiritual motherhood in unique ways, beyond biological children?