Spiritual Alignment in Marriage: Trusting God

Have you ever found yourself in a season where your faith is growing rapidly, but your husband isn't quite on the same page? This can lead to feelings of spiritual loneliness, disappointment, and even discouragement. We understand, and we're here to tell you that you are not alone in this feeling. In fact, many women in our community share this very experience.

This week, we had the honor of sitting down with Alyssa Rahn, a coach, speaker, and host of the Letting God Lead podcast. Alyssa shared her deeply personal journey of navigating spiritual misalignment in her marriage, offering powerful insights for wives who love Jesus but feel a disconnect with their husbands. Her story reminds us that with God, no obstacle is too big to overcome.

When "Let God Lead" Becomes Real

Alyssa's journey to truly letting God lead in her marriage began long before her husband accepted Christ. She recounted a pivotal conversation before their wedding where her husband expressed his strong stance against religion. For years, Alyssa's faith grew quietly, sometimes even in secret. But a profound encounter with the Lord shifted everything, prompting her to bring her faith more openly into her home. This created tension, fear, and even moments where she questioned if her pursuit of God would cost her marriage. Yet, through it all, she held onto God's promises.

"I just remember in that moment he said, Alyssa, it's not your job to save them. It's not your job to save them. He says, Jesus, I did that on the cross already. It gets to be easy. Like my yoke is easy, my burden is light."

This powerful revelation shifted her focus from trying to "save" her husband to simply trusting God. And a beautiful testimony emerged: after years of prayer and perseverance, her husband gave his life to the Lord and was baptized. Our God is faithful!

Finding Peace Amidst Spiritual Disparity

When we find ourselves feeling spiritually misaligned, it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to control or fix our husbands. But as Alyssa shared, our peace comes from knowing God's truth: He loves our husbands even more than we do. It’s not our responsibility to save them, but to bring our worries, our fears, and our loneliness to Him.

"But God says, bring all that to me. And when we do bring it to him and we're open and we're honest and we're like, Lord, I just, I don't even know. He comes in like a flood, like a rushing river, rushing waves, right? And just brings his peace that surpasses all understanding."

Standing on His Word, like the promise in Acts 16:31 that says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household," provides a foundational peace. This doesn't mean we passively wait; it means we actively trust, pray, and allow God to move in His perfect timing.

Unintentional Tension: The Danger of Trying to Lead

In our desire for spiritual alignment, we can sometimes unintentionally create tension. What we believe is encouraging can actually be perceived as pressure or criticism. Sarah shared her own experience of realizing how her attempts to "help" her husband grow spiritually inadvertently pushed him away. It’s a subtle shift from faithful encouragement to trying to control, often stemming from pride or fear.

"I think sometimes in the desire for spiritual alignment with our partners, we can unintentionally shift into pressure and trying to control. . . . I know for me there were definitely seasons where I thought I was being faithful and I thought it was trying to be encouraging. But really, I wasn't. It wasn't encouraging. It was actually just me trying to control the situation."

When we step out of the driver's seat and surrender to God, we create space for our husbands to rise into their God-given leadership. Our role is to pray, to pause, and to listen for God's guidance, trusting that He works behind the scenes in ways we cannot comprehend. Sarah's husband's recent shift, a result of her surrendering control and focusing on her own walk with God, is a beautiful testament to this truth.

Deeper Intimacy & Relational Honesty

A common fear among Christian women is that pursuing deeper intimacy with God will create more distance in their marriage or make their husband feel judged. Alyssa shared how her husband expressed concern about her growing faith, even directly saying, "Don't start judging me." This fear, she realized, stemmed from his own insecurity. She reassured him that her love for him was unwavering and that her growth in faith was a personal journey, not a judgment on him.

"He said, Alyssa, it's just, it's not the family that I pictured myself having. . . . And it was just sitting there saying, honey. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

Open and honest communication is crucial. Sharing our fears and insecurities, rather than letting them fester, invites peace and prevents the enemy from creating wedges. When both partners know that their spouse is committed "for the long haul" and communicate where God is leading them individually, those fears lose their power.

You Are Positioned for a Miracle

For the woman who feels tired, who has prayed, cried, and poured out her heart to the Lord about her marriage, we want to speak this truth over you:

"You are positioned. You are positioned for a miracle. You are positioned for a testimony. You are positioned to see our Almighty God work in ways that you could have never imagined... He sees you and he is near to you and he is leading you down the right path."

God sees you, dear sister. He is near to you. Continue to lean into Him, stay in His presence, and trust His unfailing love. Your peace is not found in changing your husband, but in deep intimacy with Jesus. It is that intimacy that will, in turn, transform your home.

Reflection Questions

1. In what ways might you be trying to control or fix your husband's spiritual growth, rather than letting God lead?
2. What specific fears or insecurities do you hold regarding your spiritual journey and your husband's?
3. How can you practically bring these fears and your desire for spiritual alignment to God in prayer?
4. What does the "posture of your heart" look like in your marriage right now? How can you cultivate more humility and trust in God's plan?
5. Consider speaking a prophetic word over your husband based on how God sees him, as Alyssa shared. What might that look like for you?